Archive for June 2007

New Energy Source Found! Clean and Sexy.

June 23, 2007

4DayTheory 

  I don’t typically read the news because I find it rather pedestrian.  However, today I happened upon (I think upon should be spelled appon.  Just my opionion.  I am right.) a news article that indicated that a new abundant energy source has been found.  It’s a plant!  It’s not this plant by it looks like it.  Recently, scientists have been able to easily convert this plentiful shrub into a liquid that can immediately be substituted for gasoline in most modern vehicles.  This is very exciting stuff, folks. 

  While this plant is plentiful it only grows in certain climates, it’s cheap to harvest and easy to convert.  It’s the bee’s knees.  We can quit all this squabbling over oil and start harvesting the new stuff!  As long as no one is hiding any big weapons or pretending to hide them or someone is pretending that they are hiding them or someone is pretending that they are pretending to hide them, then I think this is a win-win-win. 

  Sidestory (this would be in the Business section of a newspaper):  Recently, the wife and I went to a Dave Bazan show at the Underground Coffeehouse on Western’s Campus.  The show was great!  There were two opening bands and they both probably played longer sets than they should have, but the second band had a guy playing the saw!  My search for saw actually showed a “singing saw”.  I guess that’s what it’s called.  Anyway, I didn’t know how that willowy eery sound was made, but had the opportunity to hear it first hand.  A singing saw, a cello, and an acoustic guitar make an awesome trio.  So, props to that band, whatever they are called.  Dave Bazan played a few songs from his new solo album “Fewer Moving Parts” and in the encore he played a couple songs from “Control“.  Probably the highlight for the night was his cover of Bob Dylan’s “The Man in Me” from “New Morning“.  A close second to this song was the sideline event.  Whilst the wife and I stood by watching the show there was about 5 or 6 guys off to the side in a small billards room.  Not a bad setup actually.  It’s a sound proof room with a pool table and some chairs.  There’s a window that allows for people to watch those playing pool and for those inside to watch people watch them play pool.  It’s a voyeur’s paradise.  Or is it.  I was scanning the room just kinda wandering with my head on a turret and I noticed this guy in a black Transformers t-shirt staring out at me.  I didn’t really think anything of it and continued to enjoy the show.  Moments later, I scanned again and this guy was really staring at me hard.  I was about to avert my eyes, but then I realized what was happening.  This boyo was challenging me to a duel.  Not swords or pistols, but a battle of the wills.  Luckily, I had been training for that moment and moments like that moment for many a momenti.  So, I locked eyes and summoned up all of my furious hatred and pushed my will through the glass, into his eyes, and through his head until it burst.  This explosion filled the billiard room with brain fragments, bits of skull, and bloody mist.  My wife happened to look up as this was taking place and said something like, “What the hell are you doing?”  Of course, I couldn’t reply because I was busy pushing his brain out of his skull, but it was moments later that he realized what was happening and dropped his eyes in shame.  He began to grin and looked back up.  I took this victorious moment to blow him a kiss.  I believe that he may have been offended and shamed, but then he started to endure the mockery of his friends inside the billiards room.  This was a proud moment.  My heartfelt thanks goes out to TimeCrisis3 for all the time and dedication that he invested to prepare me for that glorious victory.

 Until next moment…probably.

-4DayTheory